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Blog
(Posted Till (2014-10-24))

Blog Details



Question?
How does one continue living after the death of a loved one?


How does one continue living after their spouse has passed away, having had so many good years of devoted love to each other? How can the emptyness be filled? The time passes so slowly and the desire to live can be lost.  What is the best way to get back to happy living?

Frank 

Comments

Posted On:
31-12-1969

I am sorry for your loss.

There is no replacment for your lost spouse. But Your heart& mind could acomodate love for other peopel as well. Feel great,  happy & lucky that you had the oportunity to experience & live that love with your spouse. many people never experience that ever in their lives.

 Try to keep yourself busy with constructive activities.  Time will heel, but with the power of your mind, you may be able tol make that required heeling time as short as possible.

Healthy diet & lifestyle would help you cope better as well.

Best wishes

Dr Succar 


Posted On:
31-12-1969
I really feel for you Frank, but please know that people out here do care.  I am sitting with my Dad who is 87 today.  My Mum died 2 years ago this Christmas and they were just coming up to their 60th Wedding Anniversary.  I never thought he would recover from his loss.  He's a very quiet man and finds it difficult to show his emotions.  At 54 I had never seen him cry before Mum died.  He is becoming much stronger now and beginning to make his own decisions, rather that what Mum would have done.  Do cry Frank - its OK to do that and it is extremely healing and one day you won't cry any more and will laugh at the wonderful tiimes you had and hopefully the pain will ease and life will shine for you again.  Very best wishes.  Jan

Posted On:
31-12-1969

Dear Frank

You do not say how long ago it was that you lost your spouse or the circumstances surrounding the loss. These details are important as they can impact how you are feeling. Usually a loss such as yours is experienced as a trauma or wound and like all wounds it takes time to heal. It needs to undergo nature's healing cycle. After the initial shock there comes a feeling of numbness and and this might be accompanied by a kind of searching; why me? why now? could I have done anything differently? Like all healing processes you need to allow the whole cycle to be experienced, no skipping any part of it. A mixture of weeping and raging, feelings of despair and emptiness memories which are idealised rather than real, all of these are normal and natural. Like any cycle you may go round it many times until you can start to remember your loved one in a more real less idealsied way and then maybe start to integrate the experience let it be part of who you are rather than ALL of who you are. This process can last for a long time but those who resist it may get stuck along the way and never recover their trauma. Please don't try to hurry your healing cycle and trust that it is very painful BUT the pain will be less as you allow yourself the feelings  of loss. Talking to a counsellor may help you understand the need to allow your grief and not expect to 'get over it' before you are ready. I hope this was useful for you.

Kind Regards

Jenni Camplin 

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