Your therapists, physicians, acupuncturists, massage therapists, body workers and energy workers need to be interviewed and checked out just like your roofer!
I don't know about you but finding a good roofer is might-near-impossible.
Psychological outcome research has shown that half of the therapists make us better and the other half makes us worse.
This means we need to choose wisely. You do not need to continue to pay someone if you are not making dynamic progress toward your goals. If the roofer does not fix your roof you do not continue to pay him money.
The outcome psychological research shows that the technique does not matter, the therapist is the important factor. If he or she is open, loving, caring then he or she can help you feel better. If they are uptight and nervous, they will make you uptight and nervous. I would think that this applies to all holistic practitioners and not just psychologists.
As sensitive people we definitely need to feel safe and secure with any person we are working with. We have a responsibility and right to check therapists, physicians, massage therapists, acupuncturists, body workers and energy workers out very carefully before we put ourselves in their office.
It is our responsibility as clients and consumers to pick and choose based on our own needs and desires.
Even if you get a good recommendation about a person, check them out by calling them up and interviewing them.
1-What does his or her voice sound like? It is inviting, warm, loving?
2-How accepting are they toward you? Are they open or judgmental?
3-Do they relate equally to you? If not, keep checking around until you find someone that respects you and acknowledges your strengths.
4-How do you feel after talking with them on the phone? Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel hopeful? Did they rush you? If so, then they are anxious, forget them.
If they pass the phone test. Then set up an appointment and continue to check for the above things when you meet them in person. If they pass the first session test then it is up to you to be open and trust them enough to let them help you.
Therapists and practitioners are not perfect, they make mistakes, just like everyone else. The best ones don't pretend to be perfect, they know they are human.
What you want to look for during your continuing sessions:
1- How present are they? Do they really listen to you and receive you?
2-How relaxed are they are in their body? Are they breathing?
3-How secure do they seem to be when you get scared, frightened or anxious? If you scare them, they cannot help you.
4-Do they have the information and knowledge to help you calm down your nervous system or improve your health?
5- Do they know what they are doing?
6-Do you usually feel better and more hopeful after each session?
7-Do they let you express your deepest desires and fears without questioning you?
Remember, it is up to you, the client, to pick and choose someone who is both capable and loving.
When you decide that someone is not good for you, you can leave at any time for any reason. Do not feel guilty and take care of the therapist or doctor. You are paying them for a service and they need to deliver.
For more about how to live a guilt free life and stop taking care of others at the expense of yourself, listen and study, "Opening the Heart- You Emotional Guide to Self Esteem." You learn the difference in energy between real feelings and mental judgments which cause you to feel responsible for others and guilty. Guilt weakens your energy field.
Remember you do not owe your physician or therapist anything. They need to help you grow and become healthy or you need to find someone who can.
If you really want to become healthy, pick a holistic health healer or massage therapist who teaches you how to let go of judgmental energy so you can achieve solid in the body, self esteem.
For more information and free articles visit the Center for the New Psychology online, which offers body and soul, emotional, holistic health, mental health services, with energy healing, spiritual healing, visit our website.
By Dr. Doris Jeanette Psy.D, licensed psychologist for 30 years
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