It is Valentine's Day and you feel relaxed and loving. As you move closer to your partner and touch her with love and desire, she stiffens up and moves away from you.
Quickly she gets involved in some activity. It could be attending to the new baby or cleaning up the dishes or looking out the window. Or perhaps he starts talking about something else, anything to distract. You say to yourself, "OK, it's not a good time" and accept it like a mature adult.
What if he or she continues to move away from you over and over again? Time to face the truth, your partner is rarely loving and relaxed. A new father, recently wrote me about his wife's lack of interest in intimacy. Unfortunately he is not alone. Many women and men suffer in silence with a partner who avoids time together.
So what is going on ? The reason there is such a scarcity of good lovers in this world is due to a real problem, with a real solution. If your partner avoids loving, physical encounters, I would bet my 30 years of clinical experience, he is too anxious to slow down and be with you. Anxiety is the major, bottom line, real problem.
There are 9.1 million Americans, 18 to 54, who suffer from anxiety disorders. This makes anxiety the most common mental health problem in the USA. These numbers do not include the millions who have not been labeled with an official diagnosis. The millions who have trouble sitting down and relaxing under a cherry tree all afternoon long in the sun. The millions who cannot rest their body and mind so they can enjoy the moment, the day, the light, the energy of love.Here are 8 Signs Which Indicate You have Anxiety
1--Breathing stops up high in your chest
2-Thoughts are obsessive, racing or telling you all the things you should do
3 -Physical body is too tight and tense or too fat and loose
4-Unable to sit still and be in the moment without activities such as reading, watching TV, talking
5-Not aware of your physical body
6- Not aware of the area around your body
7- Hyperventilating - gasping for air though your mouth
8- Startle response to any situation in your environment
When you let your anxiety take over and ruin your day, you are feeding fuel to all your other problems. Your anxiety is sure to get worse with each passing day, resulting in serious mental health, emotional health and physical health problems. Nervous energy not only diminishes the quality of your life, but it causes many major physical diseases which cannot be easily corrected.
Legal or illegal anti- anxiety drugs are dangerous and psychotherapy is extremely limited in its ability to relax the body and nervous system. You need effective, safe anxiety treatments which help you relax, love and get turned on. There are real solutions available for overcoming anxiety naturally.8 Ways to Overcome Your Anxiety Naturally
You can Learn to:
1-Consciously breathe fully into the bottom of your lungs
2-Calm your mind by taming your out of control thoughts
3-Pay attention to your emotional needs and meet them
4-Practice sitting still in silence without any activity such as reading, talking
5-Get and give physical touch to self and others
6-Look around you and pay attention to what is outside of you
7-Breathe through your nose and shut your mouth to stop hyperventilating
8-Reduce chronic anxiety with daily relaxation practices
Couples need to share time together relaxed, hanging out by the lake, doing nothing. Then loving touches, without expectations, can spontaneously manifest and bloom, making your Valentine Day a memory of Love instead of anxiety and avoidance.
By Doris Jeanette Psy.D.
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