In August 2004 a friend of mine told me about attending an Enlightenment workshop. I had no idea what this was about, but something told me that I needed to attend. Not knowing what I was getting myself into, I called and booked myself in. That was on 15th August 2004 - the day of Amma's Birthday. This was the first time I received Deekshas. I felt that I was in the right place at the right time. Two weeks after this workshop I departed to work overseas for 4 months. While I was working in Norway, something interesting started to happen. People I was not able to do healing in my usual sessions, either due to distance or circumstances, really needed my help. I happened to have read a book (by pure coincidence) about someone who was doing healing work by tuning into people and then using an "energy tool" to clear their blocks.
Somehow, after receive my first Deekshas in Melbourne, I started tuning into people, seeing where their blocks were, then using an Energy Tool of Gold Light, I started clearing their blocks. Miraculously, their problems, pain, issues and imbalances resolved. Was this the work of Divine Grace, or Amma and Bhagavan? Over the past three to four years, I experienced periods where all I felt within was love, joy and peace. This seemed to radiate out and many people noticed. This had a large impact on my healing work and produced some incredible results with my clients. This sometimes lasted for 7-8 months and then I would lose it again. And then it would come back again, sometimes for up to 12 months or more. The last time I shifted out of this incredible love, joy and peace was in February 2004, which coincided with a very powerful full moon that seemed to bring up a lot of issues for everyone. Since that time, I have had incredible waves of emotions rising from deep within me.
It was like I was purging all the old emotions I had been holding onto from this and all other lifetimes. This period of my life was like riding on an incredible roller coaster that I did not seem to be able to get off. Just when things would settle, more and more of these waves of emotions would well up from within. It truly felt like I as travelling through and experiencing "The Dark Night Of the Soul". This ended for me in June this year. On the 2nd of June, our group of Deeksha givers in Melbourne, got us all together for a Deeksha evening, as many were being performed around the world within a 24 hours timeframe. This was an incredibly powerful evening where we performed rituals, danced and received Deekshas. The next day I went along to see my friend Sue for our monthly healing session we do on each other. She doesn't know much about Amma and Bhagavan or the Deekshas although I had told her about them and encouraged her to join us. She had been assisting me to work through my "Dark Night Of The Soul" which had resulted in some pretty heavy sessions, but this one was different. While she was working on me, she could see Buddha entering me! I immediately knew what this was.
It was the Buddha Energy descending into me. I had this magnificent Gold Light radiating out from me. She saw Buddha standing on the left side of me. I then saw Amma on my right side - this was my first really powerful connection with Amma. She seemed to be making a few adjustments to me physically, which I felt very strongly. Sue asked me to keep bringing the Gold Light through me and left me in the room to process whatever was happening. June and July went very smoothly for me. I felt as though I had completely shifted out of the energy of "The Dark Night Of the Soul". I felt much better, had more energy and things were flowing more smoothly in my life and in my Kinesiology practice up until my departure for India on 31st July to attend the 21 Day Process in the Golden City near Chennai.
The "21 Day Process" has been one of the most amazing things I have done in my life. I have spent time at the teachings of "His Holiness the Dalai Lama" in India, as well as several months with "John of God" in Brazil. These two were incredible experiences but what happened at the Golden City has changed my life forever. The 21 Day Process takes you through an incredible journey of firstly looking and yourself and your life, and why we are the way we are, our conditioning, how we are influenced and why we act and behave the way we do. Firstly, I saw all the suffering in my life and then upon releasing that, I saw the suffering of Humanity. I realised that the entire planet was trapped and that all of Humanity needed to be freed. At first I was crying (howling) unstoppably, as I saw the incredible need to help Humanity to become free from all suffering.
Everyone went through different experiences, many were crying, releasing, going through emotional turmoil, some were even laughing. Most of the time I was feeling an incredible sense of peace and joy - at first I thought maybe I wasn't getting it, but I was assured that where ever I was at and whatever I was feeling was right. I found myself dancing around the room on many occasions, feeling as though I was totally free. We worked on releasing our past conditioning, negativity and karma on all levels. We looked at why relationships are the way they are, and that the biggest mistake we make is trying to change or understand each other. We saw that life was nothing but RELATIONSHIPS! We were taken back through our childhood, and asked the Divine Presence within us to do whatever it needed to do to alter our childhood where needed. Once again, I danced around the room and saw myself in my pretty dresses my mother made me when I was 5 or 6. I was dancing through meadows of beautiful flowers; I was flying - WOW!
The "21 Day Process" is like the Ultimate form of Personal Development. It was like have 30 years of Natural Therapies in just three weeks. The insights that came through the process were amazing. It is the Ultimate way to change our patterns, experience our relationships and change all of Humanity forever. We saw that we were not responsible for what we are. We saw that our conditioning, our experiences in the womb, our birth process and our childhood, all impacts of how we are and how we behave. All of this we have "No Control" over. We have no control, that we have no control of control! Now I understand why "Control" has come up so much over the years in my work with Kinesiology. You do not have control over life - life has control over you. This conditioning is running through you and you cannot be free of this. The more we "Control" any aspect of life, the more we "Struggle". I have been telling my clients this for many years!
On Day 9 I went through a "Death of the Self" and saw myself floating down the "Ganges" in a death ceremony. I could hear water running beneath me as I floated away, and could actually hear the crackle of flames burning the wood that was placed on my body. Then I started to fly over India and Asia and then out to the Cosmos. I was flying on a bed of a Lotus Flower and flew higher and higher into the Universe, seeing Planet Earth below. Then I started flying through Galaxy after Galaxy. Then I was the whole Universe, the stars, I was everything - Earth, Humanity, all creatures, the plants, everything. I surrounded Planet Earth in a Billion Petal Golden Lotus Flower and asked that only Love, Peace, Joy, Happiness & Grace engulf the entire Human Race and all creatures of this Earth exactly "AS IT IS"! I felt as though I had died and gone to Heaven, only to realise that Heaven is here on Earth. Deekshas at the Golden City were happening 24 hours of the day energetically. We had very few physical Deekshas performed on us. The most powerful part of the process was the meditation in front of the "Cosmic Beings".
These are Fully Enlightened Human Beings who have the power to "plant the seeds of Consciousness" into us. On Day 10 while meditating in front of the Cosmic Beings, I felt them physically "Unplug" me from my mind. It was like something out of the movie "The Matrix" but it was below my Brain somehow - WOW! During the process, I was gauging my progress using the Scale of Enlightenment (0-1000) and Kinesiology. I was very surprised at how fast I was moving up the scale and from Day 1 to Day 10 I went from 460 to 900! After discussion with my Dasaji (guide) Utpula, and thinking that I wouldn't progress much further, she gave me encouragement and changed my belief so that I could see that I could reach that level. My thoughts were passing me by. The mind chatter had lessened, and I was feeling very peaceful, positive and focused. I realised that all I had to do was ASK for what I wanted.
I prayed to Amma and Bhagavan to become Fully Enlightened but to also be fully functional in life. I realised there was NOTHING to know, that NOTHING matters, there is NOTHING to understand. That we need to stop understanding our thoughts, stop hooking into them, that we just need to watch them pass by just like watching trains at a station. Our bodies are just the Temple that we live in; we are just "Tenants". Life is "Perfect" exactly "AS IT IS". On Day 11 of the Process I reached the complete "State of Oneness"! Exactly one year to the day of my first Deeksha workshop! While meditating in front of the Cosmic Beings, I told them that I was ready and that I saw no reason to hold back any longer. I asked them if I could be Fully Functionally Enlightened. I felt like many sets of hands were on my head giving me Deeksha all and once. I then saw Amma on my left and Bhagavan on my right. They were operating on the Parietal lobes of my brain - one on either side. I also felt incredible Electrical Surges and twangs going through my heart. The session came to an end and they were still going - they insisted that I stay in a meditative state until the finished. I got up slowly and realised exactly what had just happened. Wowww - I was stunned, dazed, slow in my movements but in complete and utter GRATITUDE for what had just happened.
As I walked out to get back on the bus, I saw Chris walking along and told him what had just happened, and cried tears of joy on his shoulder. My whole body was tingling, especially my hands and feet as an incredible amount of energy was surging through me. I could not even move very fast and just stared, as my whole vibration frequency seemed to "step up". The next few days I was feeling very drained, dehydrated, needed to take hydration salts and more water as these adjustments within me were made. The Parietal Lobes of my brain still hurt and the headaches, which I had already been experiencing, were not much better. My body was also doing a massive amount on cleansing, especially the first 10 days of the Process but this also continued. I realised that reaching the "State Of Oneness" was NOT the End but is actually the Beginning! There is no jumping for joy - "IT JUST IS". My mind is completely clear sometimes there is absolutely nothing.
Now when I meditate, I see incredible colours usually end with the Golden Ball. I can now go into a very deep state in meditation without effort, where I am completely one with everything. the Cosmos, the sky, the trees, the birds, animals, people, everything and everyone. Many times during the Process I would completely leave my body, or been in such an altered state that I felt I was completely not my body, or somewhere completely not where my body was sitting. Incredible!!! There is no Separation, no Loneliness, no feeling of Longing or that something is missing in my life. I just feel peace, love, joy and contentment. When you feel complete non-separation, complete Acceptance of "WHAT IS AS IS", there is only Love - this is Love. Causeless, Unconditional Love! This is how all the problems of Humanity will forever be resolved. This is what will happen to Planet Earth when all of Humanity becomes Enlightened - at complete Oneness with everything and everyone. You cannot hurt the other when you ARE the other.
There is only ONE HUMAN BEING. I am not myself any more as the "Self" has completely gone. Everything in Life is a Process - even the Universe is a Process. As the Universe, Galaxies, Sun, Planets and Moon contract around us, they influence and impact on us. They affect how we feel, how we think and our emotions. Bhagavan says that this is often why we have "no control" over our actions and behaviour from one day to the next because of these influences. There is no Destination - there is only Freedom. Awakening to the "State of Oneness" is our Freedom, our Destination. There is no where else to go - that's life.
There is no Ultimate Experience - "IT JUST IS". Oneness is not the Ultimate experience! Feeling Joy, Love and Divine Experiences are part of Oneness. Once we reach this state, which is a constant and permanent - "I AM" - THAT'S ALL. I am amazed at how easy it was to attain the State of Oneness. Although in some ways I feel as though I have been preparing for this for many lifetimes. I see that there is still a long way to go, as there are many Levels of Consciousness, as there are many levels to the "State of Oneness". Being Human is a very, very, very, very small step on the ladder. ONENESS IS JUST THE BEGINNING! I give my ABSOLUTE HEARTFELT GRATITUDE to Amma, Bhagavan and the Divine Presence and Grace that is always with me.