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Dealing with grief, a good way to remember those we love
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It was the 2nd anniversary of my mother's passing and who knows what prompted me to write this, other than to pass on some thoughts. (Or maybe just some personal ramblings)

There's a line in a song

' you left me here, to remind me of you' and that to me is a comfort

~ as long as I am here, so will she.

and hopefully I can display those wonderful qualities she taught me by the way she was and the way she still is within me.

We don't have to be sad, angry or alonewhen we remember those who have left us ~ I'm not ~ I miss her and speak to her most days and listen. Not just with my ears but with an awareness and I seem to understand.

But how can you remember in a way that makes you feel ok?

I feel I am lucky to have found NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) way back when I did. It has taught me to know I can experience memories how I want to experience them. I can remember times which before would bring on a negative emotion such as anger, sadness, guilt etc. but now they are just something that happened in my past and are void of those old feelings. Just as importantly I can re-experience the feelings of any good memory, in my mind I am there again and even better that that if I want I can magnify those good feelings and take them with me into my present-my now. In our trainings (my sons' and mine) and my therapy work it's great to see others find how much fun you can have learning and doing this and how it truly transforms their future.

Any way, back to that line of the song and one of the simple ways to remember that special someone.

This is what I do.

I think of a good time(s) with her and see it as if I'm looking through my own eyes.

I'm there again, seeing what I saw, hearing what I heardand I feel the good feelings I had and every good memory is the same way. I make it that way because that's how I want it to be.

If any memory isn't of a good time, I see it differently. I see myself in the memory, (as if it's a movie with me in it) over there and I make it smaller and darker, I make it stilland move it away from me ~ any not so good feeling just diminish

I also have noticed that a side effect of seeing, hearing and feeling those good memories is that you notice even more good things about that person. Things that you see, maybe a book they read or a photograph brings even more good feelings and sometimes a feeling of gratefulness that you had that person in your life. Now I can talk about my mother (and to her) with nothing other than love and good feelings - no tears just joy.

This is not the only way but a sure way to remember what you want, how you want to and it's good to remember because.................

' you left me here, to remind me of you'

Enjoy your every heart beat.

By Paul CLough
All rights reserved. Any reproducing of this article must have the author name and all the links intact.


Biography: Trainer of NLP, Master Practitioner of Time Line Therapy and practicing hypnotherapist and coach.

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Can Hypnosis do Anything?
Changing Core Beliefs to make our lives better
Dealing with grief, a good way to remember those we love
One way of being grateful to feel good
The law of attraction ~ or feeling good when you want

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