This is part 2 of the 4-part "Seven Keys to Permanent Weight Loss Success" series.
Key #2: Forgive yourself
Forgive yourself already! ENOUGH!
You are only human. Whatever decisions, choices, or even mistakes resulted in your current position, get over them. Successful people recognize that in life, there are no mistakes or failures. There are simply undesired outcomes that offer a learning experience. Most people operate from the realm of "what if" and live either in the past or the future. You decide that past failures dooms you to repeat these mistakes in the future, or you struggle with the concept of "what if" and contemplate a future that is pure fiction. It doesn't exist.
Get real. Live in the present. As long as you continue to dwell on your mistakes, you are simply creating elaborate excuses to share. You can continue to beat yourself up, or do something about it. So what if you were a binge eater? So what if you knew you were going to gain weight, but gave in anyway? Those were all choices that happened in the past. You are in the driver's seat. You have a brain. You also have the power to control it. No matter how difficult it may seem, you can choose to be different. It only takes an instant to change your mindset. Dwelling on the past is only an excuse to delay the process.
The first step is to forgive yourself. Remember that forgiveness is not an event. It's a process. It takes time. You've spent a long time telling yourself you are bad, lazy, fat, ugly, or other nasty things that just aren't true. You can continue to do the same thing, or recognize that for things to change, you must change. One easy way to do this is to simply stand in front of the mirror several times per day, look yourself in the eye, and say out loud: "The more I love the way I am, the more I am the way I want to be."
Does this feel silly to you? It's not. That discomfort you have isn't because you're doing something stupid ... it's because you're not comfortable with you. In fact, the more excuses you make to not do this exercise, the more reason you should. You'll find that, over time, you will become more comfortable with who you are. Soon, you'll look forward to greeting yourself. Eventually, you could even learn to love yourself again.
Key #3: Stop making excuses
If you've already talked yourself out of the exercise described in Key #2, then you need to read this and go back to it.
Do you feel that bulge in your pocket? No, not the one with your wallet or makeup kit tucked away. I'm talking about the one you carry around with you all of the time.
To learn more about the victim cards we all carry around with us, listen to the fifth CD in my 5-CD Lose Fat, Not Faith Audio program.
In a nutshell, everyone faces challenges. It is popular to define ourselves by comparing what we have with someone else, but in the end, you can't please everyone. I've heard every excuse in the book.
"I'm too old." I'll show you an 80-year old bodybuilder.
"I just got out of heart surgery." I'll introduce you to a man who lost dozens of pounds after quadruple bypass surgery and improved his healthy tremendously.
"I'm too overweight and out of shape." Listen to my interview with Rob "Former Fat Guy" Cooper who lost almost 400 pounds of fat.
"I've had too many children to get a flat stomach." I'll show you pictures of women with half a dozen kids who win trophies in figure and bodybuilding competitions.
"I work two jobs and go to night school." I'll share the story of a woman who was working full time, studying to become a fitness trainer, and teaching her husband how to walk and talk at the same time (he was recovering from brain surgery) while losing over 100 pounds.
The fact is there are always excuses. Instead of wasting your time and energy finding one that sounds good, why not just admit you're not up for the challenge? Ultimately, you must make the decision to change. If you're not ready, then just admit it. Stop feeding us the sad drama and save it for someone else. Find someone else who wallows in their excuses and you can have a grand time exchanging all of the reasons why you're not going to change. The rest of us, we've got a different plan. You see, we all carry the same victim cards, but we're not going to play them. Instead, we're going to stop being a victim and get on with the business of doing what we set out to do.
(Continued in part 3)