1. Patience. In a world full of turmoil it can be really difficult to cultivate patience but as hard as it may be it is essential to happiness. Without patience anarchy would be rampant everywhere. Patience is a virtue that brings the priceless gift of peace. Whether you are a parent of a newborn, a toddler, a younger child, a teenager or an adult patience is required to sustain peace within yourself and within the bonds of family members. A couple tips to cultivate patience are:
a. Breathe. If you feel your temper raising take time to focus on your breathing and you will find that you will gain control over your emotions and over the situation.
b. Analyze the situation without judgment. Ask yourself what happened that made you loose control and then determine why that bothered you and if becoming bothered will improve the situation. Often when we take time to ask ourselves why we are loosing control it is apparent that we are at fault.
c. Count to ten or leave the situation and return when you have regained control. Its best for you to leave then let your child see you loose control because that teaches nothing that can bring happiness.
d. Recognize progress. If you are working on improving your patience recognize your improvements and how it has improved your relationship with your children.
2. Be an example. From birth your child is watching you, wanting to be like you. An important part of being an example is dismissing the notion of "do as I say not as I do". It's a contradiction to tell your children not to swear if you are constantly swearing. It is your priority to strive to be the best example you can. No no-one is perfect so your children will watch you make mistakes and the best thing you can do is be honest and apologize for your behavior. By allowing your children to see your weaknesses and your desire to be better they will admire you and want to be like you.
3. Discipline with love. When your child misbehaves discipline is essential for them to learn. The level of disobedience will determine what type discipline of is used but whatever may be the consequence it is important that your child knows you are doing it because you love him. Try to avoid harsh words of reproving and replace them with truly how you feel. Examples of words or phrases that encourage discipline rather than releasing built up emotions are:
b. Feelings are hurt
c. Did you not understand...
d. I know you can do better than that
e. How can I help you be obedient?
Also the tone of your voice is really essential to disciplining with love.
4. Time. If you are not spending time with your children then how can you influence them for good! Some people get sold on the idea is they just work really hard at their career for five years they will get some promotion that will have more flexible times allowing more family time. This excuse is an excuse of someone who prioritizes work over family. This is not necessarily a bad thing it just means that when your children need help and you are not there they will turn to someone else and that someone else could be anyone, but most likely it will be one of the peers. The advice from a peer is not often as good as advice from an involved loving parent. You need to choose do you want to be the person your children come to or not?
5. Make anytime learning time. Whether your child is 18 months old or 33 years old you need to seize every opportunity to teach them. Teach them about their environment, from colors and numbers to career choices and how to mend a broken heart. Share appropriate stories from your own life. Once your child envisions you in a similar situation as themselves they will value your advice more and your relationship will be strengthened.
By Worldwidehealth Editor
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